October 27, 2024
I have tried working with different motives.
I have tried to work for good grades, for money, for power, for attention, I have really tried, but I have never been able to make any of those motives work for me.
I failed almost all of my classes at school, often skipping class. I could never successfully navigate company politics. It always felt like a waste of time to me. I have tried working for money, but when it’s just about that, things don’t click for me creatively, I get bored with it. I have learned that I don’t care about those things.
But what I do care about is questions. I care about questions a lot. Questions are the reason I like to work. When I am thinking about a question, it’s like everything clicks, all confusion is gone, even my body feels stronger. I can get obsessed with questions. I would do anything to get the answer to a question.
How exactly does this car work? Why does this curry taste so good? What is it like creating a piece of hardware? On a fundamental level, how is creating hardware different than creating a painting? What exactly is paint?
I feel very lucky to have learned this because no matter what happens in my life, ups, downs, death, injury, tragedy, confusion, loneliness, I can always ask a question, and when I do, I can break out of that state, because the question will give my life purpose again.